Another Opinion…

(One of our correspondents has offered an alternative view of the merits of

carefully crafted writing:)


Why, Indeed?

-Maurice Chepepik


Earlier in this book one of the editors of this volume asked why we should care about  “a pack of tipsy quipsters” (whatever that means).

And I agree. Why shouldn’t we?

I mean their seams to be a lot of blather about how good these “vicious wits” wrote along time ago. Supposably there “style” is something we should read so we can learn to right better.

But really who cares about some crusty old rules written by Strunken White in the stone age! It was all different way back than.

Americans communicate just fine today using modern technology and grammer and Spel-Chek. After all, we wrote the language so we should use it like we want. Are meaning gets across so whats the big deal with studying dead white people? Speed is more important than correctitude anyhow.

In a recently new essay Mark Twain allowed as how dead people have an unfair advantage over living people because the socalled “free speech” was not really enjoyed by the living but only an “empty formality.” He went on and on about how people worry so much about what there neighbor thinks that they didnt dare think for theyselves. So I am contorted to ask; why should we have bent over backward to give a priviledge to dead people that we the living dont even enjoy of? It seems a waste of time to myself.

Some people try to put Twain down by saying that he actually died before this peace was published but I say thats just more of the “literati” trying to make the less read feel bad about there education or lack. They can gather around their saloons and coffee houses and pantoufflicate all they want about how things should be said. Meantime those of us who really want to say something will be on the Interweb getting stuff said. And red – we can put out thousands of words while the worriers are editing and redacting and caring about style.

For all intensive purposes Arriana Huffington has layed out the case in a whole book about the value of blogging without filtering. She talks about first thoughts being the best thoughts and no need for reconsidering or correcting or sweating over details or accuracy. Just get the thoughts down and out into the atmosphere. Than watch the fun begin. Its the 21st century version of public floggings. And we all no how much good came of they!

At least, I think thats what she says. I havent got the time to read a whole book because Im to busy putting my thoughts and imaginings and gaseous emissions into blogs and postings and chat groups and newsletters for everyone to enjoy and commentary on. You see thats really my mane quivel with these purists who insist on correctyness over volume there missing so much opportunity to say so much more. If they wood just stop worrying about pursing every word and tightening every phrase they could get on with the business of actually writing something.

These Algonquonians could of done it so much better if they would of only loosed up and stopped with the frets. Do you relate that one of them actually said he used to sweat blood over writing regular columnars? What is that about? Its just words!

So now ninety years after they all started stopping together for lunch and trading jokes and punts and Tom Swifties and exviscerating people they didn’t like we are supposed to emblemate them? Give me a brake!

I no a load of people use to make fun of one of our national presidents because he misspeaked often and mingled his phraseologies. But he did ok didn’t he! He got electorated twice times and that’s got to be wirth something.

And won of the most famous philosophizers of the 20th century was the one who put it bestest. He said “you know what I mean” and that was of course Yogi Beara so I don’t think many of the hoity toity hoi polloiers will question his debility to get attention for what hes saying.

I don’t mean to flog a dead language hear but I just get so irrigated at people who insistuate that every thing has to be wrote exactly to a certain old fashion set of rules which noone can spell any more anyway.

When I mentioned this to a language mazen friend it was him and I’s first big disargument because he insisted that I half to state things correctly and I instigated that he wood know from the contest what I was meaning. So hes like no you’ve got to do it correcter and I go no way.

Its all just ceramics anyway. You no what I mean.

So lets grab the bull by the shorts and have the courage to stand up to the language natsies. Read what I mean not what I say. I will attempt to not use any more superfluously excessive and redundant words when there not necessary. And Ill even read some of these (should of stayed) “lost” works of the Round Table.

But please can we just get over ourself!

You know what I mean don’t you!

I have the most unique way of saying it imaginable.

Wassaic, NY


MAURICE CHEPEPIK (b. 1966) has been a thorn in Nat Benchley’s side for more than forty years. Originally appearing in Palo Alto, CA, he has previewed plays Nat appeared in, co-written articles for trade publications and generally performed the functions of a toxic remora. During Nat’s acting days, Chepepik once stole his photograph and inserted his own biography, including (alleged) “title roles” in the plays “Of Mice and Men,” “Wuthering Heights” and “How High the Moon.” “Why, Indeed?” may be the most succinct iteration of his understanding of classic literature ever set to paper.

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